It’s 14

Wow, this feels weird… coming back to my blog after almost 9 months of no posts.

Last year was eventful, to say the least. Actually, it qualifies as a significant milestone in my life path.

Long story short, on May 20, 2013 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl by the name of Nour Alexandra. Then came the hormones, the sleepless nights, the weight loss, the weight block, and finally the recovery.

It goes without saying that all that suffering was extremely worth it. I don’t want to pass a cliché, but nothing, no emotion in the world, comes close to comparison with motherhood.

Motherhood is herculean strength mixed with gushing love mixed with endless giving mixed with fearful worrying mixed with pride mixed with weakness mixed with optimism…

In 2014, I don’t want to list endless resolutions I know I won’t come close to accomplishing; instead I want to give 2014 a title:                       “Perseverance”

 Be it personally, professionally, or academically, this year will be the year of perseverance.

Mother's Day Flowers

Mother’s Day in Lebanon is on March 21^st; it is by far the busiest day of the year for all flower shops and pastries. So, with all that hustle, some errors are bound to happen, but it becomes unacceptable when such “occasion reliant business” abuse such occasions to make an easy buck by deceiving customers.

Below are two stories about two different flower shops that should seriously consider closing because they can’t deliver a single right bouquet of flowers on an occasion such as Mother’s Day.

Case 1: www.zoohoor.com:

I sent this feedback on behalf of a friend of mine who fell victim of this website’s scam:

“On the 20^th of March, one day before Mother’s Day, I ordered four flower bouquets from your website with vases.

According to the website, I was required to order before 10 pm in order to have the flowers delivered at the time, date, and place of my choice. By referring to my order, #aaaaaa, bbbbbb, cccccc, dddddd (I removed the real order numbers for privacy reasons), you can see that I ordered them on Wednesday, March 20, at 8 am, to avoid any delays or conflicts, and to give you the proper amount of time to get my order correct and up to the required standard.

Upon receiving the order, I discovered that the pictures of the flowers are nothing close to what was delivered, the quantity was less than promised, the quality was garbage, and the delivery was not consistent to an extent that one of the four bouquets was not even delivered to its destination.

Your website is a scam, or you don’t know the difference between tulips and wild roses.

If a flower shop (or website in your case) can’t deliver flowers on occasions, what can you do? Why are you open for business if you can’t fulfill the sole purpose of your business?

I sent four bouquets to my mother, mother –in-law, wife, and sister and none of them was up to my expectations or at least close to what I was promised while I was purchasing them from your site. You put me in a very awkward and shameful situation with your very low standards.

I was extremely unsatisfied with your flowers and your delivery services; I did not receive what I ordered or anything close to my money’s worth.

I expect to be refunded the full amount of my purchase and you should consider closing your deceitful, unprofessional, and over priced flower business.”

Case 2: Coqueta Rosa

This is a summary of the experience I had with the flower shop I order from. Bear in mind that I’m a regular customer and order all my flowers from them…NOT ANY MORE:

I called the shop on March 20^th, at 9 am to order three flower bouquets for my mother, my mother in law, and my sister in law. I told the guy that I wanted three flower bouquets, described the colors, gave him the detailed delivery addresses, and the times at which they should be delivered. I asked him to write down the order and repeat it to me to ensure that he got it correct, I also emphasized that I’m ordering and having the flowers delivered one day in advanced to avoid the Mother’s Day traffic.

To my disappointment, and despite all my efforts to avoid errors, not one of the above mentioned bouquets was what I ordered; not in terms of color, size, or quality.

I called the shop owner and said:

“the person that took my order is either deaf, blind, or illiterate. How can he get a simple flower order wrong when I repeated it to him twice, had him write it down, and called him 3 times during the day to make sure he got it right?

The shop owner started apologizing and asked if there was anything he could do to make it up.

I told him that the damage was already done, and the best option for him now was to close up shop, because they just couldn’t deliver flowers on an occasion like Mother’s Day.”

I bet 90% of the people who sent flowers to their mothers yesterday or the day before were very disappointed with the results. This is a common problem we have in this country: Bad customer service, deceiving business owners, and over priced wilted crap.

Michael Abou Sleiman should be banned from Television

I usually don’t watch TV, let alone Lebanese TV, but when the show “Dancing with the Stars” became so popular, I was curious to know what all the fuss was about.

I have to admit, the dancers, the celebrities, the dances, the costumes… the entire show was truly very nice.

Apparently, one of the starts on the show, Mirva Kadi, had some type of wardrobe malfunction that showed a little more than was intended, I didn’t see the scene. Naturally, the tabloids went crazy, and as if there isn’t enough “on purpose” flesh on TV for them to watch; they had to emphasis the “by accident” flesh.

Anyway, what drove me to write this blog was not Mirva’s outfit or the general public opinion about it, but Mr. Michael Abou Sleiman’s (the co-host of the Lebanese talk show “Talk of the Town” on MTV Lebanon) disgusting, vulgar, inappropriate, ill-mannered, unacceptable comments about the incident when Mirva was a guest on the show.

The moment Mirva walked on the set of “Talk of the Town”, Mrs. Mona Abou Hamzeh gave a brief summary of Mirva’s modeling career and achievements, and then started at her regarding the costumes she wore on the show, especially the last one.

No matter how much Mirva tried to cut the debate short and stand up for herself by emphasizing how she is always careful in selecting her clothes, and that they don’t rehearse while wearing the costumes, and that it wasn’t such a big deal, Michael kept making those very dirty jokes about the costume and about the last Buzz commercial she did where the electricity generator pops and she asks her nerdy, chubby, unattractive neighbor to help her fix it, then joins him and his friends for karaoke.

I don’t know why is it ok for talk show hosts to pass dirty, sexual jokes and insults to a young woman on national television on a show that is watched by all types of viewers.

Mirva deserves an apology and Michael Abou Sleiman deserves to be kicked off television.

For those of you who understand Arabic, below are links for what I’m talking about.

Buzz Commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUUZpgSzZO8

Mirva Kadi on Talk of the Town:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0NnXbMoUmk

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! - 17/9/2012

I suppose you can guess what I’m talking about from the title! And I don’t intend to be quoting the bunny from Alice in Wonderland.

When we got married, exactly 1 year and 7 days ago, my husband and I decided to put off having kids for about a year just to get used to the new “Married” life style and the responsibilities. I wonder if the doors to heaven were open back then and God heard our plans and approved.

I don’t want to rush things and start planning the baby shower and college applications but things are happening to me that have never happened to me before. Such as:

1.       Late… I’m never late… I mean there could be an entire calendar made based on my cycle. Figuratively speaking!

2.       Weird cramps… it feels like your gut is being grabbed tightly for a new seconds and then nothing.

3.       Acute sense of smell… I mean I usually have a good sense of smell but this is ridiculous, bloody hell! I can smell my husband a mile away, I can smell the cotton that my shirt is made of and I can smell the papers on my desk… you know those very discrete smells that aren’t usually there!

4.       Acute sense of hearing… I can hear each one of my colleagues’ key board typing, and their breathing, and whispers of people talking from other offices.

5.       A little light headedness and an unprecedented disgust for the taste of toothpaste in the morning.

I suppose a quick Clear Blue test wouldn’t hurt.   

PreVue - Wearable Pregnancy Ultrasound Belt

I came across this while trying to get an idea of what my 3D ultrasould scan will look like through google images.

What do you think?

http://www.adesignaward.com/design.php?ID=23800

Exploitation

In a country where labor laws are passed to exploit workers rather than protect their rights, you would hope that institutions take it upon themselves to support their employees, especially those who have fought tooth and nail for years on end to bring them growth and prosperity.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true.

I have heard of an institution; let’s call it “Bank Cheap” where employees are treated as worthless laborers through out the beginning, middle, and advanced level of their careers.

Below are just some of the cases at Bank Cheap I’ve heard about.

Case 1:

“Employee 70”, who has been working at Bank Cheap for a little over 14 years, has a masters degree from a prestigious French University, has single handedly built the base for one of the Bank’s indispensible control and reporting functions by gathering information from half the departments at Bank Cheap, has been in the same middle management position for the past 6 years with no promotion, and still makes about US$ 10 an hour.

Bullshit

Case 2:

“Employee 86”, who has been working at Bank Cheap for 3 years, spent half those 3 years working double shifts, taking on extra loads, and developing an entirely new program that automates all the monitoring and reporting process of one of the Bank’s key control functions. “Employee 86” still holds the same entry level position, with the same entry level salary of about UD$ 3.8 an hour.

Ridiculous

Case 3:

“Employee 88, who also has been working for Bank Cheap for 3 years, has graduated as an honors student from one of the country’s top universities with a Masters Degree in Business Administration, has an internationally recognized certificate in Valuation Analysis, and is currently working for a certificate in Financial Analysis. “Employee 88” is considered to be a key player in one of the Bank’s control functions, carries on extra loads and sometimes for other departments as well, and still holds the same entry level position, with the same entry level salary of about US$ 4 an hour.

No Comment

Bank Cheap is filled with similar cases of hardworking, well educated, and innovative employees who I consider to be exploited.

Disgusting!

I couldn't help but share what I read on msn.com regarding this Iranian blogger.

http://arabia.msn.com/news/middle-east/956526/bloggers-death-stirs-political-hornets-nest-in-iran/

I Haven’t Forgotten My Blog!

For those of you who were used to reading a new post on my Blog every other week or so, you might have started to wonder why I have been away for a little over 3 months.

Well, the truth is, I haven’t been away at all! As much as I would have loved to be on some long vacation, I have been here, on the other side of the screen but over occupied with thinking of the situation I’m in.

And the situation is: I’m Pregnant!

What will follow is stuff I wrote during this period, but never had the guts to publish before now!

Enjoy!

Another “Tello” Fit for the Blogosphere

And there I thought I was the only member of my family with good writing skills!

I was surprised when I got a WhatsApp from my little brother, http://byserene.blogspot.com/#!/2011/11/little-brother.html, saying that he has begun his own blog!

Take a look! http://moudzz.blogspot.com/

Like, Share, and Follow!

Bino

It was a gift from my dad on my high school graduation; it was a new, cute, and silver Peugeot 307; it was “the” car for an 18 year old university girl; and I loved it. Naturally, I gave it a name, a character, and the accessories to go with it. Fabien, nicknamed Bino, was my car, a blond, gay Frenchman, who was tough and fragile all together with a dice in the mirror.

Then came the July war, and our trip to Canada, and the debate to stay there, or come back to Lebanon, to sell everything, including Bino, or keep everything until further notice. I still remember the temper tantrums I threw just to come back to Lebanon for Bino and AUB; and it worked!

For 6 years, Bino was my best friend and companion. I still remember all the traffic jams we used to suffer on the highway to Beirut every morning, and back home in the evening. I remember all the chocolate bars and the juice cartons I used to leave behind because I was always in a hurry. I remember all the clothes and the shoes I used to lose, then find again with Bino. I remember the longest drive we had, which was to the south for a picnic with a bunch of friends from university.

He was with me through my high school graduation, my university years and graduation, he went with me on all those useless job interviews, and then to my first job, and now my second. He was with me while I was running around preparing for my wedding and remodeling my house.    

But even the sweetest fruit will grow old and sour someday. A few weeks ago, I decided that Bino needed his retirement so I decided to put him up for sale. After the many phone calls, questions, price debates, and the lost Saturday at the Car Zone “Nef3a” (that is a different story) the deal was done and Bino had his new owner.

There are some moments in life that you know you will never forget, like the moment I found out I got accepted to AUB, or the moment I saw my husband for the first time, and now I have the moment I gave up Bino’s keys to the old man in the grey sweater.

Bitter, sweet… but I’m ready for a new car now!

Search in Progress…

Recapping 2011

The year 2011 served as a significant milestone on the scale of my life. Like 2006, with my graduation from high school and starting university; 2009 with my graduation from university and getting a job; 2011 marked another, more personal turning point, marriage.

What an emotional rollercoaster! It was perhaps the most hectic year, but the happiest none the less. It marked a huge change, yet stability, it was painstaking, yet worth it, and it was fun, yet costly.

In plain and simple terms, 2011 is the future. All along it has been “when I grow up” or “when I graduate” or “when I get married” …I’m there!

Last year, and like so many years before it, I made a new year’s resolution list. Similar to everyone’s my list included “being more religious”, “being healthier”, “taking more charge”…and “starting a Blog” (which was mainly due to the encouragement I got from Seth Godin’s book “Linchpin”.)

This time something worked.

I’m happy to report that until today I have posted 65 blogs (including this one), had 3,833 page views, had audience from all over the world including 1,340 from Lebanon, 434 from the United States, and 235 from the United Kingdom, in addition to 8 followers.

Yayy!

I don’t know about my Pisces horoscope reading for 2012 but my hopes are high.

Happy New Year!

Little Brother

Can you think of someone, anyone, who is your oldest friend, someone you can’t remember your childhood without, someone who has been with you through thick and thin, someone who you fought with, then made up, someone who blackmailed you with your secrets but never told anyone, someone who has always shared everything with you, including the last piece of cake that everyone fights for.

A lot of people are popping up in your head right now, but in mine, I can see one person.

He was born on November 9, 1989, a year and 8 moths after my birth date. He was chubby, pink, and blond. Everyone at the hospital was in awe at what a beautiful baby he was. At the time, I was preoccupied with my red tricycle and shoes to notice the new family member.

Before long, he was walking behind me, playing with me; from Barbies to cars; and even sharing some of my clothes. Growing up in Canada with Lebanese roots and Arabic being spoken at home, no one could understand his heavy Anglo-Arab words but me.

The older we grew, the more distracted we got with our own lives. The last days of school were marked by official exams, SATs, and university applications. Then came the messed up university schedule, finals, projects, friends, and work. Before we knew it, I was planning a marriage, and he was planning to work abroad.

Now, my little brother is a man, and living and working in another country.

I no longer see him everyday after work, or fight with him because he made me late to work in the morning. No more evening talks about plans, girls, life, education… n no more pancakes with extra Nutella.

I can’t see my little brother everyday and I miss him.

School Boys

A walk down memory lane with Noor this morning made us laugh our hearts out.

The 9^th and 10^th grade, teenagers with raging hormones, boys in baggy jeans with no facial hair whatsoever, puppy love, and an allowance we get at the end of the week from our parents. Classic!

I remember my school days like they were yesterday. When scoring low on a Math exam meant the end of my academic future for ever, not going to Dunes or Concord on Saturday meant the end of my social life, and if that boy doesn’t leave me a letter in my desk at the break, then I won’t let him copy my homework.

Hahaha!

What the hell were we thinking people?

It’s so funny how things that seemed so significant then, are just a topic of a funny conversation now. When we were young, the boy sitting behind us in class was our soul mate; the boy with the new phone was the rich one, and the boy who used to talk back at the teacher and charge out of the class was the bad ass. What a miniature world! Mini in the mind!

When we were is school:

·         We’d like someone because they were good looking (lets face it, being good looking while going through puberty is a real deal breaker),

·         We’d like someone because they had a great personality (Duhh.. at 15, your personality is in the midst of its development)

·         We’d think that guy is a gentleman because he’d pay for our movie tickets, just because we are girls and no girl going out with him would pay (poor kid, he must have saved that allowance all week)

·         We’d think he’s tough if he’d beat up the other boys for talking to us (the classic “what are you looking at” pushing and shoving)

·         We’d think he has cool parents for letting him drive without a license (dumb asses, did you find your kid on the street)

·         We’d think he’s mature if he’d smoke in the playground bathroom (you idiot, it was just yesterday you tried a cigarette and nearly chocked with red eyes)

·         We’d live in ultimate suspense when he’d call our home phones and then jam the line in our parents’ face if they answered (you coward, be a man and ask my dad for permission to talk to me, he won’t bite)

We grow out of all that, apply to university and get a degree, then graduate and get a job…then finally meet the one who is good looking because that’s how God made him, who has a great personality because he had a proper upbringing and learnt from life’s lessons, who pays for our everything because he earned the money to do so, who stands up for us when we need it the most, and who has the guts to knock on our parents’ door and ask their permission for marriage.

I can’t wait to go through all that again…with my kids!

Mixing Marriage with Friendship

Many of you have definitely heard something along the lines of “When you’re married, you will have less time for friends”, or “When you’re married, your priorities will change”, or “Marriage is your social death sentence in disguise”…

Being married for only 26 days so far, I can’t completely disagree with that; or completely agree for that matter.  It’s never too soon to realize that your BBMs have reduced, you no longer understand the jokes, you get back in half through the conversation, and there are a bunch of pictures on facebook you know nothing about. You start to feel left out.

Then come the excuses.

“Ahh, I’m sorry, I can’t make it today because I have visitors coming over”, or “Are we going to be late? Because I have to be home early”, or “I’ll try to make it if I have time” (and you know you won’t have time).

Then come the mixed feelings.

“I miss my girls” but “I haven’t seen my husband all day”, or “I really want to go shopping with the girls”, but “I haven’t seen my mom in a week”, or “I need to call my best friend”, but “I need both hands to do the dishes”, or “I wish I could go for lunch with my colleagues”, but “I need the lunch break for a bit of grocery shopping”. And the list continues.

Regardless of all that, at the end of the day you know that real friends will always understand, keep you updated even if they have to wait for hours for you to read the BBMs, try to bend their schedules for you because they want to count you in no matter what, and that your ultimate/ eternal best friend is in the next room.

Thank you for the support Joe, Love you!

Wake up UN

“The United Nations is an international organization founded in 1945 after the Second World War by 51 countries committed to maintaining international peace and security, developing friendly relations among nations and promoting social progress, better living standards and human rights.

Due to its unique international character, and the powers vested in its founding Charter, the Organization can take action on a wide range of issues, and provide a forum for its 193 Member States to express their views, through the General Assembly, the Security Council, the Economic and Social Council and other bodies and committees.

The work of the United Nations reaches every corner of the globe. Although best known for peacekeeping, peace-building, conflict prevention and humanitarian assistance, there are many other ways the United Nations and its System (specialized agencies, funds and programmes) affect our lives and make the world a better place. The Organization works on a broad range of fundamental issues, from sustainable development, environment and refugees protection, disaster relief, counter terrorism, disarmament and non-proliferation, to promoting democracy, human rights, gender equality and the advancement of women, governance, economic and social development and international health, clearing landmines, expanding food production, and more, in order to achieve its goals and coordinate efforts for a safer world for this and future generations.

The UN has 4 main purposes

·         To keep peace throughout the world;

·         To develop friendly relations among nations;

·         To help nations work together to improve the lives of poor people, to conquer hunger, disease and illiteracy, and to encourage respect for each other’s rights and freedoms;

·         To be a centre for harmonizing the actions of nations to achieve these goals.”

- UN website

Every morning, on my way to work, I pass by the UN headquarters in Central Beirut.  Traffic is always jammed on its street because most of the street is blocked by a cement wall leaving a two lane passage way, were one converts to a queue of UN employees’ cars all looking to park inside the premises, and another lane which remains open for the rest of the commuters on that street.  Hell.

Today the jam was especially depressing, and got me thinking about the UN; Its purpose, its members, its sub-organizations, its efforts, and its achievements.

I checked their website, and I couldn’t help but critique every single statement they made about themselves.   

*51 countries committed to maintaining international peace and security… How on earth could they still write that when two of their key members have been busy waging wars for the past 10 years?

*developing friendly relations among nations and promoting social progress… The joke in this phrase is "friendly relations"! Iran, Syria, North Korea, China… are their best friends.

*better living standards and human rights…The use of internationally banned weapons in the Israeli war on Lebanon, the war on Iraq, in Syria and Lybia with the protestors, the starvation in Somalia, conflicts in other parts of Africa, increased global warming and higher levels of pollution… are all ways to ensure that the human race enjoys better living standards and their human rights.

*Due to its unique international character, and the powers vested in its founding Charter, the Organization can take action on a wide range of issues… issues like preventing wars, abolishing illiteracy and abuse, extracting dictatorships… I still don’t understand what actions they are taking exactly!

 *Although best known for peacekeeping, peace-building, conflict prevention and humanitarian assistance… I already addressed this so let’s cut the crap.

I don’t want to sound like I hate the UN, although I already did, but what bothers me is that the world is in dire need of such an organization, but one with a more active role, more defining decisions, and more authority.  The UN’s role will remain passive if its power continues to reside with a hand full of nations that already command the world’s economy, wealth, military power, primary resources and technological developments.

Dry August

August was by far my driest month in terms of blogging, but the most active month in terms of finalizing the apartment, the wedding, and the honeymoon.

I really could have written a lot; like details regarding wedding preparations, honeymoon destination planning and visa drama, and the most famous apartment renovation issues; however I felt things are better left to be said with pictures, facts, and real time events.

This is just a mild introduction for the blogs yet to come, and a friendly reminded that I’m still here, very much alive and kicking!

:D

Top 10 most hated phrases…

These past few weeks (months…but I’m trying not to be a drama queen) have been very stressful.  With our apartment’s remodeling that is taking longer that we had planned, all the wedding preparations, and a little stress at work have been more than enough to take me off the handle.  All that, and the little things in life that pass everyday, sometimes unnoticed, but still eat at you like gangrene.   

The nerve wrecking phrases that have been resonating around me are listed as follows in order of annoyance:

1.       Battery is too low for Radio Connection

When my BB battery turns red and an X appears where the connection bars should be, then my life is compromised into a quest for the nearest charger. Ahhhhh!

2.       FUEL LEVEL LOW

Doesn’t that just make you want to crash?

3.       Let’s sit on this for 10 minutes (when its 4:55 pm)

Umm… Let’s not! We had 9.5 hours to sit on it; in 10 minutes I have to be on my way home!

4.       When will you be home?

When I arrive, then I’ll be home… Seriously, you’d think after 23 years and a marriage they’d give up… Nooo!!!

5.       This price doesn’t include taxes

Oh Please, I’m either enjoying my meal or in the midst of a shopping spree, so save me the calculations and give me the final price already!

6.       I’m going to be a little late

If you know you are going to be late, leave earlier. Duuhhh!!

7.       You have reached 80% of your 100MB Blackberry bundle.

Thank you for reminding me that I’m paying 40$ for a ridiculous service!

8.       The doctor will be with you shortly. (Shortly turns into an hour or so)

Kindly refer to the “I Hate Doctors” blog on the link below:

http://byserene.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-hate-doctors.html

9.       You have 10 minutes to submit this project.

“10 minutes” is the key phrase to make you lose all concentration.  How supportive!

10.   I’m sorry; we are fully booked for the evening.

Ok, I can’t blame them for having such a great restaurant.

Summer in lb

The sun has come out, the temperature has gone up, and the girls have gone practically naked… all are indicators that summer in Lebanon is finally here.

Lebanon’s weather is as diverse as diverse can be.  In winter, people can still go out in t-shirts, spend some time on the beach getting a tan, and enjoy the outdoors in every summer way possible while still enjoying a cozy meal by the fire and the white slopes of its mountains.  None the less, summer is still different.

Most of the Lebanese expats come back to spend the summer, some to see their families, some of which are here for a quick summer fling, and others are here looking to arrange a marriage (Puppy in the Window Syndrome…but that is another story).

The whole country is up to its nose with people; car rental agencies become all rented out, hotels are up to 103% in capacity, streets that are made to fit 2 million are crowded with about 8 million, reservations to anywhere have to be done months in advanced, and everyone acts as if they are on vacation when the truth of the matter is the alarm clock rings at 6:00 a.m. for them to get up to work.

Women all over the country start dressing as if the only garments available in shops are the short shorts.  Jeans ones, black outs, white ones, printed ones, tight ones, lose ones, any ones will be good enough to make the boys’, and in some cases, the girls’ heads turn; that’s the idea.  Skin, flesh, skin, flesh, and little is left to the imagination, but hey… it’s hot.

But, by far, the phenomenon that truly makes it summer in Lebanon in that everyone seems to be in heat.  Night clubs and beach resorts appear to be a scene from a Discovery Channel documentary about “Wild Sex”. 

You could only imagine…

For me, the thing I just love about summer is feeling the heat of the sun on my skin and how a soft breeze cools me down while I sun bathe and how I see my surroundings slightly darken from the shadow of the palm tree above that shades me as the wind blows.

What is your favorite thing about summer?

Women Drivers

This post isn’t intended to undermine any female driver or emphasis that men are better drivers; it’s just to point out some things I’ve realized in my modest 6 years of driving.

Women are the worst, most ill-mannered, most impatient, and dumbest creatures to get behind the steering wheel.  And the only type of driver that could measure up to a woman driver is a 60 something year old Lebanese Taxi driver.

(My female readers are muttering in discontent, especially that this is coming from a woman driver.)

Below is a list of things that I have realized that some woman drivers do as part of their driving regime.

1.       Considering that most think of themselves as multi-task individuals (peh!!), they drink coffee from an uncovered mug, smoke a slim cigarette, apply mascara in the rearview mirror, tune the radio, send a BB message, and keep a hawk’s eye at the hot dude in the car next to her all while driving.

2.       They have no knowledge (or consideration) for traffic rules which especially include, allowing the driver in the round about to exit before they enter it, giving the right of way, meaning that if she and another car reach an intersection at the same time, the car on the right (not hers) has the right to pass ahead first, keeping the zebra crossing open, incase a God forsaken pedestrian was crossing, and keeping the right lane open, since most red lights exclude cars on the right lane who want to make a turn right.

3.       Another female crossing the street is her queue to increase acceleration, in the hopes of eliminating possible competition.

4.       The “No Parking” sign means “No Parking for Men”.

5.       The “Risk of Towing” sign means an opportunity to make doll eyes at a disgusting police officer.

6.       The red traffic light means “It doesn’t mean me”, “Oh I’m color blind”, “It’s just kidding”, “I should try that shade of red on my nails”.

7.       The “Wrong Way” or “Do not enter” sign means that she is new in town and doesn’t speak the language.

8.       Getting a speeding ticket means that is was an emergency.

9.       Getting a parking ticket means that the cop is such a womanizer.

10.   Scraping the car while passing in a narrow street means that the infrastructure is crap.

11.   Jamming the bumpers into both the car in the front and the car in the back means that the victims got what they deserved for leaving such a narrow parking spot for others.

12.   Jamming into the rear end of the car in front of her means that “the dumb ass stopped immediately.”

13.   Having someone jam into her rear bumper means that “the ass-hole is a charging bull.”

14.   They have all taken lessons in sign language and finger spelling that involve one particular finger.

15.   And finally, got forbid that you have a car accident with one of them and it turns out that it was 51% your fault…the whole neighbor hood would be on the balcony watching and listening to her unbearable shrieking and “classy” language.

Men drivers could be just as bad at driving as women, but I believe that women, being the softer gender, should be a little more calm and rational while operating heavy machinery.

Growing and Changing

When I was younger, I was selfish enough to wonder how people are able to spend money on household items instead of that amazing bag, or endure long agonizing family visits, when they know they prefer chilling in Gemmayze.  Times change, priorities change, people change, and then one silly incident makes you realize that you have become one of those people; a person whose world no longer revolves around him/ herself.

End of season sales were everywhere, so it was a great chance to stock up on some classic catches for next winter.  I had come across a “to die for” rabbit fur jacket at one of Beirut’s trendy boutiques and set my mind to it, but not before I raid other shops incase I find something better. A few days later, I was with my mom at a home ware department store which had, among other offers, an offer on a 15 piece “Tefal” pot set. 

While I was standing at the cash register to pay for my selection I started laughing ironically, that both my mom and the cashier asked me if I was okay.  I replied that I was quite fine, but in the middle of a life changing experience.  The money I had set aside to but the fur jacket was being spent on pots and pans for my new house. 

As silly as it might sound, the incident left me with a bitter sweet feeling.  I was no longer that care free fashionista, whose biggest challenge was to find the perfect pair of red pumps, but instead I was the wife-to-be, who is eager to help her fiancé with setting up their house. 

After that came a series of minor situations that kept proving that I have sincerely changed.  Family obligations, money saving, smart shopping, and taking responsibility in general.

Change is good.