Traffic Rules for Sale

Corruption at its finest!

On a random street in Beirut, the story goes:

Officer: “Hey sir, you can’t park here, its reserved.” (Ya rayyes, ma feek tsoff hon, ma7jouz)

Lebanese Man: “Reserved for whom?” (Ma7jouz la meen?)

Officer: “You just can’t park here.” (Khalas, mamnou3a l saffe hon)

Lebanese Man: “Fix it.” (Zabbita)

Officer: “It can’t be fixed.” (Ma btitzabbat)

Lebanese Man: “Everything can be fixed, my friend.” –and he removes 20,000L.L. from his wallet. (Kil shi byitzabat ya sa7be)

Officer: “Welcome!” – and he removes the obstacle, and holds traffic for the man to park.

In a high traffic street in Beirut, the story continues:

Officer: “Madame, you can’t park here!” (Ya madame, mamnou3a l saffe hon!)

Madame: “I will only be just a minute, my friend needs to give me something.” (Mish mtawle, sa7ibte mnazlitle gharad)

Officer: “Even though, you will block traffic, you have to move the car.” (7atta law, m3ar2le l seir)

Madame: “She’s here, she’s here!” – And the Madame’s friend shows up from behind the revolving  glass door of the adjacent building wearing a mini-skirt, a tailored blazer and casually sporting cleavage. (Hayeha, ijit ijit!)

Officer: “Madame.” – he is politely ignored by the two ladies, but doesn’t mind it because he is enjoying the view.

Officer: “Madame, I’m going to have to give you a ticket.” – and he starts to take out the ticket book. (Badde a3milik zabit)

Madame: “How dare you, I’m leaving!” – and acts like such a victim that he can’t help but smile, he is hooked. (Yii wallaw!! – felle!)

Officer: “Ok, be quick.” (Tayib, bes bsir3a)

Madame: “You are so kind!” – winks and drives off, while the officer continues to check out her friend. (Killak zo2!)

At the place where they do yearly car revisions and pay the mechanique fees, it still goes on:

Mechanic: “It won’t pass.” (Ma btinja7)

Lebanese Man: “Why not, there is nothing wrong with it.” (Leish la2, ma biha shi)

Mechanic: “The left stop light isn’t red enough, the license plate is scratched, and the left tire needs air.”

Lebanese Man: “Come on man, let us go.” (Ya zalame, Masheena)

Mechanic: “I can’t, you have to fix those stuff and come back for another check.” (Ma fiye, lezim tsali7on barra, w tirja3 t3eed l mo3ayane)

Lebanese Man: “By your honor, you’re going to make me pass through this crowd again; why don’t fix it.” (Bi sharafak, baddak t3ali2ne b kil hal 3aj2a marra tenye? Sali7a inta!

Mechanic: “I can’t, I only do the check up!” (Ma bsali7 hon, bes mo3ayane)

Lebanese Man: “So you want me to pay another mechanic to fix it? You’re the best one here.” – the mechanic pick up on the bribe. (Halla2 baddak yene idfa3 la mikansien tene ta yzabita, ma inta ashtar wa7ad hon)

Mechanic: “If I want to fix it, it will cost you $60!” (Badda tkalfak $60)

Lebanese Man: “No problem, you’re a professional.” – and pays the money discretely. (Ma mishkle, inta m3allim)

Mechanic: “Congratulations, your car passed the tests. (mabrouk, nij7it!)